When I was in grad school in Buffalo, I lived near the giraffe pens of the Buffalo Zoo on Amherst Street (if you’re familiar with Buffalo, you know exactly where this is). I used to park across the street from my apartment in Delaware Park, right near the zoo. One morning, I go to my car to go to work, and there’s a peacock. Not in the zoo, but just hanging out in the park. As soon as I got to work that morning, I called the zoo, thinking I’d be a hero for reporting a wild animal escape, and they were like, “Oh, yeah, thanks. He’s been getting out a lot because there’s a truck over there he likes. We’ll send someone out this afternoon to get him.”

I learned 3 things:

1. Peacock escapes are not uncommon.
2. Peacocks like trucks.
3. Peacock escapes do not require immediate action, in fact, if reported first thing in the morning, somebody might get around to retrieving him in the afternoon.

I went to a wedding this summer on a farm that kept peacocks. They’re definitely vocal af, and it’s not the sound you’d expect- much deeper and louder than I would have predicted. Additionally, they can fly, which sounds obvious, but they can also extend their tails while perching on a branch (I don’t know if this is generally doable, but there was a tree on the grounds with huge, stable branches), which meant that at one point, we were all drawn to a hacking, barking sound and looked up to see a fully presenting white peacock about 12 meters off the ground. It was incredibly impressive and I hope it got him laid.

A friend of mine’s in-laws have an ostentation (muster or pride also acceptable) of peacocks and they are the most obnoxious creatures to roam the Earth. None were as prideful or intelligent as the one described. Likely, because they were also inbred as fuck and without any proper care/attention. Those who decry the aggression of Canadian Gooses have not had to put up with the never-ending nuisance from peacocks.